Plan B

Plan B is a common phrase that most people use as an ‘oops’ meaning the original plan didn’t work out so let’s try this again in a different fashion, I’m not most people.
I should just give up on that specific letter and skip to … let’s say … plan W. Plan-Fork’n-W.And usually by the time I hit plan F I’m about to have a fork this, fork, fork fork, ginger snap moment. It’s a good thing the husband is well versed in my antics and is always ready to just roll with the punches.

“ If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” – W.C. Fields, American Comedian.

For one specific Saturday.
Plan A –
It’d be nice to just stay home get stuff done around the house and enjoy each other’s company and save some money in the process.
Plan B –
The local version of an Iditarod is going to be going on up north and I’ve wanted to go for a solid eight plus years and we finally have the weekend off together! We are totally going and I want to make it a surprise and just tow the husband all over the state. I don’t just like the idea, I love it! Map it out, plan the trip, ultimately tell him the surprise because I can never keep things from him …. and then decide not to go about two days later. All day with the dogs stuck at home, weather?, gas $, literally 8hrs driving, food, festivities … just to see one heat leave at 0900 and another heat arrive ideally around 1300 … the other heats will already be gone or won’t arrive till the wee hours of the morning. *sigh* ultimately not worth it persay.
Plan C –
We have yet to watch any of the recent ‘The Walking Dead’ season so we could couch surf with the four leg’d monsters and totally binge on it all day!
Plan D –
But I really want to go to the Iditarod finish line … it is literally a qualifier for some of the real Iditarod time trials. And it’s local … ish. Come on let’s just do it!
Plan ER –
Just kidding … no ER trips occurred during the making of this weekend!
Plan F –
‘Cabin Fever Reliever’ I’ve found what appears to be a big ol fly fishing expo that is less than an hour away from us. Hell yeah! The husband will be so excited about this one! I am no doubt not going to tell him about this plan, just tell him I have a fool proof plan that he is going to love! Naturally I told him a mere twenty-four hours later because I found out that it was going to be rather small and geared more toward children and getting them involved vs selling supplies, demos, exhibitions and adult workshops like I had thought. *sigh* X this plan.
Plan G –
I DON’T FORKING KNOW ANYMORE. I DON’T CARE. SUSTAIN LIFE. DO NOTHING. WHATEVER.
Plan H –
I play hookie from work that Friday and we can just stay at home allllllll weekend and have zero plans and do whatever floats our boats!
Plan I-
*sigh* I should go to work. BUT I leave a smidgen early so we can go see a movie and maybe hit the cabin fever reliever event on Saturday, just because.

Plan WhatActuallyHappen –
-I go to work … somebody call the wahmbulance because I complained about it all day. All day! It was the perfect rainy day to couch surf with my fur-babies and husband sipping on an extra cup of coffee or two then switch to an adult beverage with the next movie, dur! But later we are going to go to a movie, so it’ll be a pretty good day. Scratch the movie, we are going to go over a friend’s house. Scratch the friend’s house, we are just going to relax at home.
-OhMyForkingGod now it is shark week, (a sharks brain looks like the female reproductive system, female reproductive systems tend to go thru a cycle, sharks circle there prey …. let’s just say it, It’s a bleeding a vagina. Shark Week = PMS) I have been off of fertility drugs for a little over three weeks now and WOW. I have fallen into every stereotype a female has been put under during said shark week festivities, I’ve turned into quite the ball breaker of a bitch you might say … picking up some take out and watching survivor is what is on the agenda for the evening.

Sa-Tur-Day-First order of business is puppy love, it’s Saturday morning, it’s our thing. The human gets her coffee and the dogs demand attention by laying on the human. This lovely snap shot is NOT what the Oakley had in mind. Griz has taken up residence on over half the couch and leaving no room for the monster. But they are so darn cute! After an episode of TWD we get ready to venture out into the big bad world to check out the fly fishing shenanigans.

– Stop one, Tim Horton’s! The ones closer to us are closing left and right so a venture north makes me one happy gal to get my timmy ho’s ice coffee! … that is unless the husband drives right by it … WHAT?! You are turning around Mr. Space Cadet! You do not mess with my cup of joe!

-Stop two, tattoo shop! I put down a deposit for my next tattoo and picked an appointment, I know she is busy so I aim for a July appointment … but OMG! She literally just had a cancellation!

STUPID EXCITED! Less than a month out instead of three plus months?! Fork yeah! Tattoos are like dogs, you can’t have just one!

-Stop three, Sam’s club. Cheap gas … durr. Mind you the husband would really appreciate some space from the excited overgrown toddler next to him that just booked a very soon tattoo appointment!

– Stop four, Cabin Fever Reliever. Parking spot immediately available right when we pull in, score! Walk in and get a free ticket for a potential prize and … BAM!

free reversible cap! The husband is still super jealous! The event was awesome! It was indeed more for children but we entered to win some raffles and there was a lot of good advertisement for the local guide services, taxidermy, gun/rod club, snowmobiling, canoe makers, state run conservation efforts ect ect. I’m very pleased that we decided to attend and probably will again in the future. Surprisingly the only thing we bought were raffle tickets and my new bracelet!

I got to pick out my own charms …. And once I saw the cleaver I was sold! The lady would converse with people about there charm choices … until she got to me. There was no discussion about my knife, fish bones and flying pigs! She was clearly married to an outdoorsman and not one herself! Side note … trying to find your husband, who is wearing a ball cap and red flannel at an outdoorsman event … practically impossible. I just wondered around looking at shiney tackle untill I ran into him.

Stop five, TIMBERRRR.

We’ve never been to this establishment before and it’s a smidge ‘higher class’ than we are but it was very enjoyable. Lovely fire place that wasn’t too warm, Allagash black (an amazing local brew that is an expensive, once in a while, better enjoy every damn drop, kinda beer), mid rare angus burger, my stud-ly husband and an empty restaurant. What’s not to like?

Stop six, HOME!
I love my home. I really do. Nothing beats it, especially after an awesome Saturday-day with my husband!

The day caps off with some more TWD, puppy dog love and the husband getting ready for his work week to start. The only thing that I would have changed is having Lucifer and Lucille (yes I named my ovaries, that’s a story for another day) be a bit more cooperative and less hostile! Bastards.

Oh and one more thing … My dear Oakley… My moron… My dosen’t hurt a fly labra-duh-monster… went after the husband. As in, barking, growling, hair raising…went after the husband. I was in bed with Oakley slowing giving into the comfy-ness of the bedtime, the husband was still downstairs, once he resurfaced, comes up to bed … Oak catapults off of the bed, barking and charging him! Wow buddy! It’s okay. Oak completely forgot that both of his humans were home! Oh, Hi Dad! Tail wagging, bouncy dum dum is back! The other two dogs are like dude, what the hell, it’s our human! And during the excitement, Oak, um, kinda scared the shit out of himself, literally. I can bark! I’m a real dog! *blushes* Uh-Oh.

On one hand, it is awesome to see Oak put on his big boy pants on to protect me butttttt on the other hand … you forgot your other human was home and then pooped yourself in the process?! Really?! *sigh*

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One response to “Plan B

  1. As usual, there is never a dull moment with you. But, the bit with Oakley guarding you from an intruder is absolutely hilarious, I was crying with laughter.

    Liked by 1 person

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