I never believed in ghost until I met Fred. Fred lives with us and has made his presence known on more than one occasion and to more than one person. But he loves this red headed basket case the most and I may or may not have yelled ‘drop dead Fred’ on more than one occasion. Why did I name him Fred? Because of the movie ‘Drop Dead Fred’, me being me, this seems very appropriate.

My first encounter with HIM:
We owned the house we currently live in for maybe two years at the time. The husband and I both worked nights at the time and he was currently at work while I was home with our three four leg’d monsters. I presume it was around 2300, at this point I don’t remember what time of day or even what time of year it was but I do remember it was dark out and I had no woodstove running.
I was walking from the living room to the kitchen, which means you pass our small entryway/front door area, one dog sleeping to my right another in the living room and one is at the bottom of the stairs at the opposite end of the house. I was one step away from the entry way and I see a man in the entry hallway, a translucent, from the torso up MAN, I simultaneously take one step back, reach for the light switch with my left hand and breathe in to get ready to yell, he looked and me and then he was gone. The dogs never moved. My heart is racing. And I need to advise you there was zero alcohol in my system. I wish I would have written the details down the night it happen! The man was white, some sort of hat on, a plaid-ish jacket but he had no legs, NO LEGS! Did I mention he was practically see thru? Like the shit you see in movies! I proceed to the kitchen, awkwardly, continuously looking back, looking around, the dogs could not care less … what, huh, who?! I sit down at the kitchen table, heart still thumping, body shaking and I call the husband. “I’m not crazy. I’m not drunk. I just saw a ghost.”

Other Fred moments over the years …
– Saw a figure outside the front door, still no legs and just disappears. I doubted myself and looked around, tried to create a reflection with my own body and movements … it was not the same. It was Fred.

– Summer time the smoke detector just randomly went off in the living room … talk about a heart attack. I was outside tending to the ducks, all the dogs were with me, I wasn’t cooking anything and undoubtable did not have either woodstove going. I ran into the house, man you sure can move when you think you have a fire in your house and nothing is going on. The detector turned itself off, no smoke, no fire, nothing. mmmkay.

– In the kitchen one night I felt this bone chilling cool gust go up the right side of my body. I spin around, nothing, no windows open, no dog near me. And the cooking stove was on, with heat actively coming from it.

– I heard footsteps upstairs. Not just a simple pitter patter footsteps. It was an obvious boot noise, heal-toe, heal-toe. Once it stopped I asked Grizzly to go upstairs and he wouldn’t … I slept downstairs that night.

– I think my favorite was when the dogs were on the first floor with me and I heard footsteps upstairs, I went to go upstairs tell the husband something and just shook it off and said to myself I’ll just tell him when he gets back downstairs. And then he walks around the corner from the bathroom on the first floor. No idea what I wanted to originally tell him. But I do know he can only be in one place at a time.

– The husband heard footsteps upstairs and I wasn’t home! Jackpot! He can finally get some Fred action … that sounded bad but go with it! Of course, in pure LEO fashion he goes upstairs guns blaze’n ready for battle, to find nothing! Hmm, the wife isn’t full of shit after all!

– We had a friend stay the night in the living room and the porch door swung open in the wee hours of the morning, but don’t worry! Mr.Oakley reached out for his own safety behind said human instead of being the born and breed badass that he isn’t … And I’m 100% positive I locked that door before bed.

Now for the most recent Fred shenanigans … theses details are right up front in my noggin since these two stories happen less than four days ago.

Good O’l Mondays … the day itself was uneventful, wake up, work, go home, whatever. I get in the shower, music playing, door open, I always have the door open when I’m home alone so I can hear the phone, dogs or OMG THAT’S THE SMOKE DETECTOR … jump out of the shower, loofa in hand, high tail it out of the bathroom, slip (go figure, wet feet, hardwood floors) loofa goes flying, all three dogs at attention, I run into the kitchen where the wood stove is at. Nothing. No smoke, no fire. *BEEP, BEEP* It’s in the living room. OMG. I don’t even have a fire out there, no electrical heater, no fan, I even had the pocket door closed.  Reach for the pocket door, *boom* on all fours I go … soaking wet, birthday suit, limbs flying in all directions, *sigh*, finally get into the living room … NOTHING! No smoke, fire, fan, boogeyman, rogue chicken … f’n nothing. Grab a kitchen towel, trying to get the smoke detector to stop at this point all I could think of is dear god, do not let the husband walk in on this … finally get the god damn detector to stop. Walk towards the shower and it goes off again … WTF! Is Fred looking for a free show here? Make my way back to the bathroom. There is water everywhere, loofa is missing in action and I do not give a fuck, finish my shower, throw towels on the floor and pour myself a drink. The husband will be home soon and *sigh* I just want my dogs and my whisky.

Alrighty .. now let’s fast forward a whole two days and see what else can possibly happen in my world. I get home from a shit-tastic day at work and the house is 49 degrees, WTF 49?! The husband obviously made a fire before leaving for work, there is still some coals left, barely, but there is some. Get the kitchen fire just a roar’n!  Start an additional fire in the living room, put the electric heater on, what the shit, the house should most definitely not be this cold. In the meantime Grizzly is just sitting in the kitchen attentively watching the human go back and forth, back and forth as I’m grabbing anything flammable to get the house cooking as fast as possible. And … there are two windows open. Two gosh darn windows open! The one at the bottom of the stairs about 3-4” and the one under the stairs a mere 2”, seriously? I’m not concerned about an intruder situation because I would have found body parts or at the least blood flung about with Grizzly in the house … what the fork Grizzly … did you really open up freak’n windows? The blonde children are not smart enough for that! Or was it Fred? This has never happen before. *sigh* IDK. I give up! Where is the whisky!?!

So … these are the stories I can think of to date. To our knowledge our home isn’t on some sort of haunted house list, no one has died here and there has been very few owners of the property. Someone did commit suicide via hanging themselves on a property close to us, maybe he visited often? Maybe the person tried to commit suicide on our property first? No idea!

If you believe in the spirit world then I’m all ears. I was 100% a critic until it happen to me. So far I haven’t had anything ‘bad’ happen, never been hurt by him nor heard him talk he just grabs my attention whenever he sees fit.

I’m gonna have gray hair before 35…

I sure like my whisky…

I can’t make this shit up…


One response to “DROP DEAD FRED

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