2018 Chapter 1

For whatever reason I loved this picture and thought it’d be a great idea to make a first blog of 2018 on the first day of the year and with this picture. Well it’s now the 9th, so I’m right on track!

Chapter 1 of 12 (haha, 12 months a year, get it?) This is more of a realistic expectation from me. What can I say, shiny things and puppies distract me.

We have barely started the new year and it has already been a huge shit storm! HUGE! And someway, somehow I still have my awkward smirk accompanied with a smile plastered on my face.

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This group of shenanigans will be a hodge podge of thoughts flung together like monkey poo on a wall. You have been warned.

My truck has proven itself to not be able to engage four wheel drive when requested, awesome! Fan Freakin Tastic. Therefore the husband did his truck whispering thing and is able to navigate the issue but we lack the equipment necessary to fix the problem so I get to be an anxiety meatball until the truck can go to the shop at a later date. Super!

For the rest of my life I will be a four eyed, freakled faced loud mouth BUT now this face has contacts!! I am super excited to be able to wear hats without the glasses around my ears mixed with the hair everywhere blah blah blah, some people know what I’m talking about and it is a pain in the doopa! On day one of wearing my contact at work for eight hours I kept giving my jacket an evil eye because I kept thinking there was someone standing behind me, staring, stalking, messing with me, like I would NEVER do to them … nope, good job, I’m just nuts. I can now see all around me without the frames of my glasses in the way … it is crazy!! I love it! I assume I’ll get use to wearing contacts but the whole poking yourself in the eye to fish out this damn near invisible piece of plastic-ish-goop is WEIRD! And not only that but I have two different brands of contacts in my eyes and two different scripts that need to both be modified. I never thought finding the perfect RX and fit would be such a task! *grunt* Please someone tell me contacts get easier!

The winter weather has been in full swing lately and I feel the need to leave the house early so I can arrive at work within an appropriate timeframe … for snow, people, traffic and blah blah blah. I surpassed the driveway after a recent storm, yay obstacle number one is clear! I keep on truck’n and angrily look the right side of my windshield at the now wrap-around crack that this weather has lovingly modified for me from a six inch crack to the now a nice six foot snake … and *gasp* I just hit a dog. A dog. As in someone’s loveable four leg’d moron, DOG. It’s minus eleven degrees out without the wind chill, he is still alive, he has mere moments left in his eyes, this family has children, I’m shaking, I want to puke and if he were mine I would of shot him to end the pain.
I would never wish this upon anybody, my heart goes out to anybody this has happen to and I do not want to talk about this again. I continue southbound towards work but I now must go to Walmart. Why? Waterproof make up and candy that is fuck’n why. Makeup makes this face look more normal and candy distracts my coworkers from my face. I ended the day by washing the truck and yet my clan of dogs still knows the destruction I have caused, they inspect the truck, they know the human is different, they just know.
I hate myself. I love my dogs.

My dog TAILS continue…
Mr.Oakley is a unique specimen of the canine world. On a very frigid day the whole fam went outside to bring wood in the house for heat and the dogs do as they please in the process, nothing out of the ordinary. We all park our bums back on the couch to warm up when we are done, except Oakley … he cannot sit still. Cannot get comfy. He is rolling around on his back, being absolutely adorable, shuffling around, talking, being very playful we didn’t think anything of it, he is a happy, goofy puppy! This, dare I say, is normal. Some time goes by and he still can’t sit still but it’s less funny now, he seems frustrated and it is now more of a concerning … we check his feet for anything weird, hips, legs, you name it, does his tail look funny…? Oh my goodness, he has done something to his tail … is it broken? No blood, protruding bones or screaming had occurred throughout the day…
Only about three inches of his tail works, he lets us touch it, move it, he tries to wag it, my poor baby is so confused as to what is going on!

 


Apparently, this kind of thing happens and shouldn’t be too too alarming … have we met? My dogs are my world, this is a concern! Could be “swimmer’s tail”, a sprain, frozen nerve, muscle spasms or break. *sigh* Day two: Much better! With some drugs and sleep he is less fussy and can relax a little bit. Day three: Both humans had to work but this guy is a spit fire! About half of his tail is in working order and he has no problem showing it! I’m still keeping the vet appointment for the little bugger but the vet even said that we may not need it! Yay!

I have come down with something. I am sick. I have ‘the plague’. I think I need to be quarantined. I haven’t had a flu or cold or anything since the hanthrax of 2016. (Hanna + Anthrax = Hanthrax) It was bad! I just started a new job, I’ve never worked in such a big building with lots of people, no open windows and millions upon billions of GERMS! Seriously. I was sick for about five weeks. Sever sinus infection, walking phenomia, flu … everything and anything hurt. And one of the dozens of medications I was prescribed was literally for people that have THE PLAGUE. Ask the husband. It was bad! Ever since then I have been a germ nazi at the work place. Peoples habits are disgusting and I do not want them to share!  So I am actually surprised I’m sick. After ….

 


THIS happens to you, you become paranoid about germs. I feel as if I am on the mend of this madness and I will not have hanthrax.2 but being sick drains all of my energy. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

 

But, this guy. This guy right here. Is amazing. This is ‘the husband’ and I don’t think I could ever fully express to anyone how well our relationship works. We are far from perfect and have our issues but lately we are ridiculously in sync and I feel the need to shine light on it. I like to remind myself about the greatness in my life, the ups and downs that we conquer, together, by choice. Alright, alright, warm and fuzzy moment is over.

– My four wheel drive in the truck doesn’t work (-)
– I now have contacts (+/-)
– I hit a dog (-)
– Oakley broke his tail (-)
– I am sick (-)
– My husband is amazing (+)

This is my life.

This week we are dropping the truck off at the shop $$, I have a follow up eye appointment/contact issue $ and the husband is bringing the monster to the vet $$$ … what more could possible go wrong $$$$$$$$$

$ = Fuck.

 

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